Love: It’s Only a Matter of Time

p310 #1

     The science of love and relationships is well documented and supported. Chemistry and biology can explain the mystery of our attractions, how we court one another and ultimately how we fall in love. The cycle of finding a mate culturally leads us to a pair-bonding which we express in the institution of marriage. The goal is to pass on our genes by closing the circle of love with new life: our children.  We are equipped with the scientific information that explains away those feelings of love at first sight, and the “circle of love” is actually a timeline with an expiration date. What effect could this have on our beliefs and behavior?

     The courtship. We will know how to select the best mate possible using the steps outlined in Fisher’s article entitled After All, Maybe It’s…Biology. The men can ‘chest thrust’, preen themselves and strut around, while the ladies avert their gaze (Fisher 300). We can stay in tune with our olfactory senses and follow our ‘love maps’ by picking out the most financially endowed male and the most fertile female so we can keep up with the evolutionary psychology goal of having children that can be supported. But keep track of the time because the infatuation will fade. Passion has an expiration date, T minus three years, and that is the maximum afforded until neutrality kicks in (Fisher 305).

     The institution of marriage is here to stay, even with a known expiration date. Some brides will still pine away for the wedding dress and cake topper. Divorce will still exist. The biological realizations may tweak the institution just a little. Maybe the marriage vows will be altered slightly. Instead of ‘til death do us part’, the new vows can realistically read ‘til divorce do us part’. Unless of course there are multiple dependent children because “it appears that the more children a couple bear, the less likely they are to divorce” (Fisher 308).

     There can be a happily ever after if we create an acceptance to what science has to offer our future loves and relationships. The physical connection between the emotional centers of the brain and heart can only take us so far. It can be an acceptance of the short cycle that love takes and then move on, or it can be an acceptance of the short cycle that love takes and decide to stay. It is up to the individual and their mate.