Peer Review-Ricky

Ricky

     I really enjoyed reading all of your blog posts. Your writing has grown since the beginning and you write a very clear and logical essay. You have a keen sense of your own opinion that adds to the depth of your posts. You are able to give an original viewpoint and keep your readers interest. You also use the text citations to your papers advantage of getting your point across.

     For your final paper just make sure to proofread to make sure even if it is spelled correct that it is also the word you wanted to use. I know the blog site can sometimes post your writing in a format without indentations (it happened to me a couple times) but be sure your paragraphs are set apart so it is easier to read and the reader knows when you are starting a new idea.

I chose these as your “greatest hits”!

It's Just Finance 11/4/10: High five to you on this one. You were able to take a difficult subject and explain it well. Your conclusion was most interesting as you brought in the element of greed, so to speak as a social factor. The WHY of Finance would be an interesting read.

Are They Good or Bad For Us? 10/28/10: I enjoyed this piece on German Immigrants. You did your research and it shows. The comparison to non-immigrants really drives your point home. It was full of details and flowed nicely.

What Love and Relationships Are Made Of 10/5/10

Your introduction is eye catching and has my attention at the first sentence: If we hold the view that things such as love and relationships are greatly affected by chemistry and biology, then our opinions would probably change quite drastically. I liked how you played back and forth between the science of love and the emotion of love.

Peer review- Darien

Darien

     After reading all of your blog posts I get a clear sense of your style of writing. You have an objective tone and style of writing that is organized in a logical and thoughtful way. Even when you are asked for a subjective viewpoint it is incorporated into your writing eloquently. You have a distinct way for taking what you have read, informing your reader about the subject at hand but you still hold onto your own voice. Your writing never sounds as if you are just regurgitating back facts. Your conclusions always tie back to your thesis or main pint and are summarized intelligently.

     The only element that you could incorporate into your work more, would be to cite specific text to add support to your great ideas. I would also recommend editing your blogsite format so that the text is in a wider column. Since the final paper is going to be posted with pictures, I think it would benefit your paper, be more aesthetically pleasing, and easier to read if it were wider.

I found the next 3 blogs to be your greatest hits!

China’s Varying Influence 10/28/10 : You took a subject of immigration not as popular, the Chinese, but still tied in current events that are in the forefront of the immigration controversy, Hispanic and Mexican immigration. This topic could easily be developed into an expository essay, especially as it seems you did research just for this blog post.

Materialism: A Meaning Response 10/26/10: this piece is also great. I love the way you took another discipline, anthropology, and supported the concept of materialism. You did a great job of referencing Twitchell from the reading to add additional support. I also like how you wrote about the positives and negatives of materialism, and how these encompass our daily lives.

Popular Music 10/21/10: This one is my favorite. I enjoyed the reading about how our favorite past times, listening to music, can even be dictated by money. This would be an entertaining and interesting piece to develop about record companies and the music that is produced for the masses and who is left out of this monetary loop of sorts.

You have put a lot of thought and research into your writing. I look forward to reading your final paper.

Week 12 Blog review

Hilary Cummings

View of the Continuum 11/2/2010

Wow! I really enjoyed reading your viewpoint. You explained the Libertarianism in an unbiased way in the first paragraph, but you did not label it as the type of government you were explaining. Your opinion comes across strong. The conclusion was a good summary of your opinion. Be sure to include some supporting evidence from the reading to further strengthen your writing.

For Those Who Work in Finance... 11/4/2010

I found the Peterson and Chance reading to be the most difficult so far.

You were able to give a concise summary and definition of finance and the individuals who work in this field. To add support to your writing, you may have also added some direct support from the reading in the form of a citation. Grammatically speaking I only found this sentence, it may be re-worded to reflect your thought about the importance of computers in finance more clearly, it seems chopped up: Even with the invention of a computer originally, plus all of the applicable software, has taken finance to much higher levels than ever before. Overall, a great job with this subject matter!

Katie Kosturik

Cypherpunks 11/2/2010

I enjoyed your use of ‘spectrum’ in paragraph 2, to illustrate the extremes of libertarianism and the example of Parekh supported this view. Also in paragraph 2: These “cypherpunks” embrace cryptography and are using it as tool to reform against our big government today.  I am thinking maybe you meant to rebel against government because they do not want to be told what to do. Great transition into the last paragraph! : So much for the buildup, but I’d like to choose a stance on the spectrum that falls somewhere in the middle. This could be a great piece to develop further especially since you brought up so many thought provoking questions at the end.

Directed Freewrite p. 455- 11/4/2010

I personally found the Peterson and Chance reading to be the most difficult so far. Discussing money and what it means to our society is a thoughtful introduction and flows nicely into the subject of finance. You pinpointed the history of finance and setting up why this discipline came about. Your conclusion was strong, although you could have added a few more sentences to make the ending paragraph as strong as your first. Possibly include some supporting evidence from the reading. It seemed short, although it had meaning. Great job with this piece.

In paragraph 2: scientist (add an ‘s’) of finance

Buy Low and Sell High

     Money, it goes hand in hand with our materialistic ways. It is a motivation for members of our society to succeed. It keeps our economy going, even slowly. We make money and then we spend it. Finance brings a unique variable to the equation of making money. The idea of having your money work for you brings to mind the stock exchange. Chance and Peterson define finance as a young field (post World War II) that studies how money is acquired and invested (447). Finance practitioners are in an elite group. They are able to manipulate mathematics, physics, statistics, computers, trends, and risk. Due to social, economic and technological changes, the focus is on maximizing return on investments.

     The post World War II economy invited a discipline like finance to emerge. It was a time of white collar jobs, women in the workforce, employment that provided services, corporations were forming, the “baby boomers” were born, families sought to purchase homes, and automobiles, then televisions, and then came computers. Besides the aforementioned social, economic and technological changes, a series of events took place to build finance into the discipline it is today.

     Finance is the melting pot of mathematics, physics, computers and risk. Its’ main focus is on investing money and making a profit. In order to get to where we are today in finance, actual scientific theories were formulated and tested. The Gordon Model was used for pricing stocks (449). The equation for Brownian Movement was used for option pricing (449), which led to Stochastic Calculus and Ito’s Lemma (450). Then came Black-Scholes Model which led to new products of derivatives (451). The finance practitioners also used company fiscal forecast to predict the rise and fall of company stock prices. Ultimately these theories led to equations that could be used in finance and its profitability. The finance practitioners have found their niche in banks and brokerage firms using their skills to maximize profit.

Week 11 Blog review

Week 11 Blog Review

Katie Kosturik

To Buy or Not to Buy? 10/26/10

I enjoyed how you described both the positive and negative aspects of materialism. The title is very catchy! This could be a great concept to develop into a paper especially since you stated at the end how Twitchell gave us a framework to start with. The one item that caught my eye was the sentence in Paragraph was slightly confusing for me: Par 2: As Americans we have established this capitalistic socioeconomic structure and flaunting our materialism is actually a way of flaunting that we are ABLE to be materialistic.

Capitol Economies 10/28/10

Your piece about immigrants could definitely be more developed. You could accomplish that by being more specific and choose one immigrant group to focus on. Be sure to be posting 3 paragraphs about the topic at hand.

Hilary Cummings

German Influence

Your opening paragraph is a great introduction that you generalize but then get specific with Germans. I enjoyed reading your interpretation of this assignment and finding out all the ways Germans have contributed, especially with Barbie- I had no idea! This is an easy to read flowing essay.

Materialism

You have supportive references from the article and have nicely added other examples from our daily lives. This would be a good essay to develop further. Great job.

We the People

Today is any interesting day to talk about Libertarianism as it is a Voting Day. Although Arizona is on member of fifty in the United States, we as citizens living in Arizona get to vote our choice for Governor and US Senate today. We also get to choose the Propositions that decide the fate of medical marijuana use, to whether or not we will be able to hunt and fish to our hearts content in our state. This makes us a representational republic which our Founding Fathers accomplished with the signing of the Constitution.

I stand somewhere in the middle of the extremes of a Libertarian form of government. Libertarianism has been defined as the belief “that government is best that governs least” by Henry David Thoreau in Civil Disobedience (McHugh 440). This makes me think about ‘We the people, for the people and by the people’ in respect to our Constitution. And I wonder if I could still vote for individuals who will represent me and my thoughts if Libertarianism were our active form of government. It is difficult to choose sides of a form of government that I am unable to see, hear and feel in action, but is based on ideals of being able to have free individual will and live my life as I want as I long as I don’t encroach on others.

McHugh’s article pinpoints money in relation to Libertarianism. As Parekh is unable to sell his type of cryptography in the United States because the government does not allow it, Parekh is unable to maximize his profits. The type of cryptography Parekh is using could be used for good or evil. I am glad I live in a nation where certain boundaries are formed in order to protect the people regardless of the loss of income to others. It seems as though the benefits of protection out weigh the profitability. This brings me to my last thought in regards to the money and Libertarianism that keeps me pensive. If we were all able to keep our entire income and avoid paying taxes, where would our children go to school? What type of medical care and social services would be non existent? What roads would I drive on? And would I have state parks to visit during my summer vacation? I don’t know about other viewpoints, but I live in the United States of America and I am proud to be part of ‘We the People’.