Week 7 Blog Review

Mary Bak

Directed Free Write pg 246

Wow Mary, great job in the length of your post! You were able to discuss thoroughly how your communication with your brother reflected the views of the author. Housekeeping : A comma is not needed before the parenthesis or between….communication,” (Beetles, 242). If you are citing the author, Tannen, I would use Tannen instead of Beedles. Missing a word in the 4^th paragraph: It drove me crazy my brother was not looking directly at me. It drove me crazy when my brother…

Week 7 : 9/30

No post to review. Hope all is well Mary.

Jessica Chee

28 September 2010-Page 246: Directed Freewrite

Very nice Jessica. You have a very clear and descriptive first three paragraphs explaining your conversation that took place. Great examples of the male listening role as described by Tannen: the lack of eye contact and listener noises. Yet a successful communication. I only noticed the indent for the 1^st paragraph is just not as pronounced as the rest (could be the blog site). I did not find any grammatical errors.

30 September 2010- Page 292 #2

I really enjoy reading your writing. Paragraph 1: You have chosen a very specific thesis. Upon looking into this fundamental institution and patterns over time, heterosexual, monogamous marriage should be preserved if we want more, overall functional families, specifically that relating to the well-being of children. This sentence may be written a little clearer. The overall idea of your thesis is good : preserving the heterosexual, monogamous marriage for the benefit of the family unit and the children. Possibly adding “what” pattern over time- marriage as an institution :’its patterns over time,…’ Also, instead of more functional families, possibly stronger functional families that raise children. Paragraph 2: A comma after be. To make this paragraph more descriptive, include a definition of evolutionary psychology for your audience. You may consider combining paragraph 3 and 4 because they both are supporting a heterosexual monogamous marriage for the children’s well being, which supports your thesis. Lastly, Paragraph 3 & 5 : I would avoid using the same quote twice “the most precious evolutionary resource: love” (289).